What we do now is not necessarily a forever thing. Like all things in horsemanship, the answer to many questions are: it depends.....
So we are doing a bunch of things that may (or will) change over time. She is learning a lot right now and my main goal is building confidence and trust. Once we have what I feel is enough of that, some of my work with her will change.
Little "tricks" I learned from somewhere and now regularly use:
Matching Steps: when walking, keeping in rhythm with her; matching steps - synchronicity in the movement, I feel, can only help in being connected.
Smelling poop: she is allowed to smell poop on the trail anywhere, anytime. For now. I am quite sure it has helped her feel secure and confident, to know not only that there are horses around, but that whatever information she is gathering for from the poop, gives her a better idea of where she is and who is around. She is allowed to be a horse. We are not in a hurry. All is relaxed and good.
Backing: periodic backing her up as a basic safety measure and reinforcement of my personal space. Never a bad idea. I try to use this in a lighthearted way. And actually, attitude should be its own category. A light attitude can be sensed by the horse, and if you can throw in a ready-for-a-laugh, humorous position, even better.
Flagging rather than yanking, or bumping the halter when eating grass. I can't always do this - so I do end up bumping with the halter, but I am looking for the best way to make "moving on" her idea rather then mine.
Consistently using particular words: most commonly (and she knows it very well already), "ready?" when changing anything, but also "touch" or "touch it" when inviting her to be curious, "graze" and pointing to the ground when I am going to allow a grazing session, "no" (usually said in low tone and drawn-out in anticipation that she will get it - and to try again... like "no-o-o-o-o...?", and "OK" (for so many things - much like "ready", generally indicates a change of some sort.
X's and O's in your body language: when you think about it, it makes sense... an "O" shape is softer and more friendly than an "X". I am thinking (or try to) about what message I am sending my horse all the time. If I feel she's missing a point or needs redirection I will adopt a more "X" feel. When she's soft, I am soft (and vice versa hopefully), and I am using more of an "O" shape to my body. Standing tall with both arms out is an "X" and when energy is brought up it will push her away. When I shrink down, connect my arms and create an "O" shape it is more inviting.
THE MOUTH: I am sure I wrote about this in a previous post, but in my experience the mouth is the biggest source of sensory input (under "normal" circumstances). I am constantly "reassuring" her with lip touches from my hand (at least reassurance is what it feels like).
I do allow feeding treats from the hand, but I believe this is a many-layered option. Some horses it seems, can not be fed by hand (in my opinion it may be possible but they will need additional training). Like Zante my previous mare, Kai relishes the treats but I am mindful of how I give them. And like Zante, Kai has now learned that she gets the treat when I say "away" and raise my flat palm up to her face. She has to turn her head the other direction. We are working on making the duration of the head "away" longer than a few seconds.
Horse skulls are really big, and really hard. You don't want one swinging into your face when they are expecting a treat (or any time)! Just as with feeding itself, we constantly work on manners; she has to wait for her grain and for her treats. Feeding has become very easy and she is not the least bit pushy, which she was initially.
Also - I love my friend's comment years ago, "I'm just a Pez Dispenser"...! Ha ha...! Maybe we've all been guilty of this at times.
When, why and how you give treats is worth being mindful about. But don't punish yourself (your horse may end up doing that for you)!
Additionally I stick my fingers in her mouth, a lot... for various reasons. I have found it helpful for interrupting a thought process - kind of get them to think. Kai was on a rampage in the yard yesterday when my neighbors' horses both left for a ride. She tore around, galloping and bucking for a number of minutes. I came out and wanted to help her feel that she is not alone. After another few minutes of me playing with her (trying to turn her frenzy into a "fun" session, essentially) she was calm and when I felt I should, I had my fingers in and out of her mouth, which then further calmed her. To top it off I used some Jim Masterson methods. She went back to grazing. Also, just letting the horse know you CAN put your fingers in their mouth... makes things like medicines, worming, etc. just that much easier.
Be sure to be careful and know where the gums vs. teeth are!
So... back at the construction site across the street:
She is basically so chill: we are both generally relaxed while walking. I did catch her in the second video below of having a little alert reaction to something. I thought I'd include this to show she IS actually a horse and not a unicorn.
Anyway most of these just show how mouth-oriented she is. She bites and/or eats practically everything.
So far no actual ingestion of cellophane wrap.
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